Almost 9

From my weekly parenting e-mail, one week out from Spencer being 9-years-old - Holy Moly!

Your 8-year-old now


Here you are, on the brink of 9! (ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!) What can you expect in the coming year? You'll find that your child is becoming better organized and shows more initiative – at least when it comes to things that are of special interest. I hope the more organized part happens in his room!

Nine-year-olds often enjoy time alone. They may read, draw, listen to music, skate, or just daydream. They're using this time to refine their sense of who they are as individuals, an important transition before puberty. I totally already see this happening. Spencer loves being outside or in his room by himself. He's always been a kid to entertain himself. Reminds me of me, a lot.

Nines' favorite activities tend to be entertainment and sports. A socially motivated creature, your child will spend a lot of time comparing "favorites" (shows, players, actors, songs) with peers. Oh boy.

There are big changes ahead. Your child's body begins to change (say it aint so), school gets more challenging (ahem, already there), friendships grow more complicated. Providing a secure, loving base during all this change is one of the best things you can do for your child.

Your life now

Arguments between parent and child often escalate a bit now. You each have strong ideas about what you expect from one another. I do see him trying to force his will quit a bit more lately. He certainly has strong ideas, I hope to continue nurturing those this next year.

Your child is torn between wanting to run with the big kids (and definitely sees himself as big now) and still sometimes wanting to play with her old toys and spend time with Mom and Dad. Still not too worried about him not wanting to spend time with me. He is still my little baby and loves to sit with me and snuggle whenever it's possible!

Cut him some slack as he enters this important time in his life. Set limits, which is truly a form of showing love, and stick to them. But also be understanding about your child's emotional turbulence. Treat your 9-year-old in ways that are neither too old nor too young, which will always depend on the circumstance – keeping you on your toes!